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Unwanted side effects.

August 13, 2010

I feel like I should update this post with valuable advice I received via Facebook. Enjoy this quote from Daniel Tosh and then proceed at your own risk. “Ever have a nightmare then decide to tell somebody about it and about halfway through your explanation you realize you’re retarded? Is there ANY way you can describe a nightmare to be scary? “I had a scary dream last night.” Okay, tell me about it. “I was running through this pool of marshmallows in my flip-flops, right? Then the manager came running out of nowhere and HE starts going ‘Mmrammramrm’ and there was only 18 seconds to eject before the bowling alley closed, and, Tom, you were there but you didn’t LOOK like Tom and that was freaking me out! I love cheese!” What? We’re no longer friends” Thank you Mark for putting things back in perspective.

I’m a lightweight when it comes to drug use. I should have known last night as I doubled up on the Benadryl that scary things were bound to happen. Although I just now realized that the ‘memories’ I’ve been recalling are actually from a dream and not my reality of last night. I’ll attempt to sort out these thoughts while I write the story.

It was a dark and stormy night. A group of friends (people I do NOT recognize) and I were walking through a cemetery. We were headed somewhere, quite important I’m sure. Possibly on a mission of theft. That seems to be a reoccurring theme with me lately. We were hurrying in the dark and I needed to make a phone call. I couldn’t use my fingers, my hands were missing! So I wanted to use someone else’s. Nobody would let me borrow theirs. I looked down and found an available finger in the grass, but it was covered in mud and not attached to a body. I picked it up and screamed “I can’t use this one, it’s covered in mud!”

Things I’m concerned with:

1. Where were my hands?

2. How did I pick up the finger? Mind control?

3. Why did I pick up a gross looking, hairy, dirty, possibly disease carrying finger?

4. Why wasn’t I concerned about the person who was missing a finger?

5. Since when does mud bother me? It’s not like it was covered in dog poop.

6. Where did we end up going?

7. Who did I want to call?

8. Did my circle of friends double? Awesome. I’ll take it.

8. Most importantly, were we successful?

***If someone is missing a finger… maybe I can help you locate it!

Lets just not brainstorm any explanations for my crazy dream. Sharing is my way of moving on in hopes of forgetting that I’m a total nutjob.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Donna Bankson permalink
    August 13, 2010 5:31 pm

    While I always feel that my dreams are SO signficant and enthralling, I never find that other’s are nearly as interesting. However, the telling of this one drew me in. You’re just a good story teller! The librarian-hobby-thing will be a good extra-curricular activity to compliment your career as a horror/thriller writer. Your mother and I can provide you with much fodder from personal experiences.

    • August 13, 2010 5:49 pm

      Yeah. Yeah. I know dreams are boring. I didn’t have any other stories to tell from this week. I don’t know how I feel about writing horror/thrillers. How would I handle bloody situations when I struggle with a lil’ bit of mud?

  2. Stacey permalink
    August 14, 2010 10:18 am

    That’s a good one.. weirdo! So Jed decided you need to be the bookmobile librarian.. haha.

    • August 14, 2010 10:28 am

      Jed knows me well! That would be the dream job, except for the part where I’m living in the middle of nowhere.

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