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A few gems from conversation crazyland.

March 8, 2010

I’ve had some pretty bizarre dating experiences this past year. I think it would scare most away from this form of self-torture. I figure I’ll just save up these stories for the future memoir. I might also include suggested uses for invisible librarian ink and a random collection of cupcake recipes.

Example #1
Him: “Oh yeah, did I tell you I have three kids?”
Me:”Nooooo.”
Him:”Well it doesn’t really matter. I still don’t get to see them anyway.”
Me:”Really? That’s too bad. Are they out of state?”
Him:”Nah. I’m just not allowed to.”
*I’m sure there might possibly be a legitimate explanation for this. But I just don’t care. Crazy face.

Example #2
Him:”Do you want kids? How soon and how many?”
Me:”Well I’m not really sure about any of that. I do love kids, but I dunno we will see.”
Him:”Interesting”
Me:???
Him:”I want kids right away, basically now or at least in nine months. I don’t really think that’s a lot to expect, do you?”
Me:???
*This led to an immediate retreat. Sorry mom!

Example #3
Him:”What movie do you want to see? I’d like to something scary.”
(anyone who knows me is aware of my hatred for scary movies.)
Me:”Mmm. No thanks to scary, but anything else is fine.”
Him:”You can just close your eyes.”
Me:”Yes I WOULD do that but then I also need to be deaf, because I still hear the scariness. Which is the worst part of a scary movie!”
Him:”Bring earplugs.”
Me:”So what’s the point of me even going?”
Him:”I can’t go by myself.”
*ugh. So many issues here, sooo many. He can’t go to the movies by himself? Weird. And he wants to date a version of Helen Keller. Awesome.

I love how these examples are from three different guys. Although would it actually be better if it had been the same guy? Something to ponder. Don’t worry. I have an endless supply of these treasures and they just keep getting better.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Donna Bankson permalink
    March 11, 2010 10:04 pm

    I copied and pasted this whole diatribe into an email to my dearest single friends as they will so—o appreciate your experiences. I suppose I could have directed them to your blog, but the brain cells that I’m losing the fastest seem to be related to technology and I find that comforting.

    • March 11, 2010 10:10 pm

      Try to keep track of those last few lingering brain cells Awwwntie dearest. For some reason seeing the word diatribe makes me smile.

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